Sunday, February 07, 2010,
Dear readers,
During this past month of non-blog period, I discover more about myself. Discovery might not always be a bad thing. This part of discovery about life goes like this. My assignments 1 just finished, feeling bored, I went to find some movies I miss out during my busy period. One of the movie I watched was 2012. If you ever did watch it, you will notice heart-warming scene when compassion by the leaders were shown to let the people who bought the ticket to enter the ship, self sacrificial love to complete a impossible mission to save the rest of people; thriller scene when the climax reach its peak with the earth scattering quakes, rushing ocean and fight between life and death. Personally, what caught my attention was the part where love ones die. I was sniffing, but no tears roll down my cheek. That really bother me. For a moment I thought I was so hard hearted that I lost my humanity in feeling. Which was obviously not true. Just that I am stopping myself to cry. This behavior gets in me and I am constraint sub-consciously. I would justify that stopping myself to cry outside is considered reasonable. But being unable to let tears roll down my cheek when I am alone disturbed me. I was sitting at my chair, paused the scene, think for a long while and decided to FORCE myself to really feel it. Finally I did manage to squeezes 2 drops of tears out of my dehydrated eyes. Relieved, feeling a whole lot better, I thank God for it. Being a christian, having ability to feel is a very important sense that ought not to be neglect. It is also a way to love. Showing compassion on needy people, the weak, the poor.
Just glad that I am able to tears.
11:48 PM
