Wednesday, July 09, 2008,
Yesterday was the worst day of the month.Every thing turns sour. If you read my blog and remember, yesterday was my Traffic police Exam. Some wish me luck and I pray to God for calmness in my heart and not be too anxious. Used my half day leave. I made my way down to BBDC. Wait for an hour. I went the car and did my warm up. My vertical parking got a little problem but the rest were fine. After the warm up, I sat in the room where we wait for the examiner to pick us up. After wait for some time, I got my instructor and he seems all friendly. Sat in the car, check every thing and move off. I was scared somehow. While doing the slope, my car slide back a little and I saw him marking it. From that point, I knew I am done for. But there were no immediate failure so I carry on with the parking, My left leg (Which is the leg stepping on the clutch) was trembling badly. I bet you could even see it from the back. I have no idea what happen but it was shaking so badly I couldn't control the clutch well. The instructor told me that I mount a kerb. I was thinking in my heart " Damn, this time sure die. As I was told numerous time not to mount kerb" He did not ask me to stop, so I continued. Then more mistake came in, the whole ride wasn't smooth.(because of my left shaking leg( felt like chopping it off.) I stop the car and went into the room where he told me the BAD news. My hand were ice cold and I was like so fuking stress up. After the result was announce, my mind went blank. I did not know what to do. But I did book for a retest of course. I switch on my phone after the test and there are 4 msg and right after that 3 calls followed. I don't wish to announce but... So I did. I disappoint EVERY one, including my own expectation. Thinking back on my IPPT and shooting it grieved me even more. Wanted to cry but my eyes was too dried up. Spend some time venching out to Wen Chang. I think I take this exam too seriously. Wasted damn lot of money. Trust me, you DON'T wanna know how much. I am such a weakling...Seriously...Can't do a damn thing right.
10:00 AM